A Parent and Counselor’s Perspective on Giftedness: Part 2

Last month, we began a special Q&A series with Dr. Michelle Sukenik, Head of School Counseling at American Heritage Schools and a Palm Beach Area Mensa parent. In this ongoing conversation, she shares insights on giftedness through both her professional expertise and her experience raising gifted children of her own.

In this installment, Dr. Sukenik explores the emotional and social needs that can be easy to overlook — from perfectionism and black-and-white thinking to the very real challenge of building empathy and connection — and why creativity is not an “extra,” but essential to helping gifted children thrive. Her reflections remind us that raising gifted kids isn’t just about supporting intellect; it’s about nurturing flexibility, expression, and the whole human behind the high IQ.

Dr. Sukenik, what’s one emotional or social need gifted kids often have that can be easy to miss?

Gifted kids might have "big ideas," but they also come with "big feelings." Just like any other child, they desperately want to fit in and find friends who truly "get" them. It’s easy to assume that because their brains move at warp speed, they have it all figured out—but high IQ (intelligence quotient) doesn't automatically mean high EQ (emotional quotient).

Many gifted children tend to see the world in black and white (not literally of course). Our role is to help them embrace cognitive flexibility and discover the beauty in the 'grey areas' of life. This includes letting go of being “perfect”. Being gifted isn't about being perfect or winning every trophy. We need to teach them that even when they face adversity, color outside of the lines or miss a 100% on a test, their giftedness remains. They just need to keep plugging along.

Sometimes, these kids are so busy solving the world’s problems that they miss the social cues right in front of them. That’s why we need to focus on the whole child, teaching them how to regulate their emotions and even how to handle the "dreaded" state of boredom. As a school counselor, I guide students in recognizing social cues and building rapport with their peers. We focus on fostering essential values such as courage, empathy, inclusion, and kindness. It’s not uncommon for a gifted child to find solving a complex algebraic equation easier than navigating the nuances of empathy. While emotional intelligence can feel more abstract than a math problem, it's a vital skill to nurture—after all, these bright minds will be leading our world one day!!!

In an earlier conversation, you mentioned that creativity plays an important role in helping gifted kids thrive. What does creativity look like in everyday life for gifted children?

While gifted children are often associated with their cognitive talents and measured by their extremely high intelligence quotient, they also possess a profound sense of creativity and talent in other pursuits. Their interests encompass a spectrum of areas ranging from the performing arts and cooking to architecture and music composition. They may master the potter’s wheel to create a ceramic masterpiece, or design their very own prom dress. They may tap dance though high school or create the next Academy Award-winning movie script. 

Creativity looks different for every gifted child. In their quest for solutions, they often brew up mixtures that seem bizarre to the rest of us but make perfect sense to them. Just as there is no single way to be gifted, there is no one-way to be creative. When I observe my own children in the kitchen, I often chuckle (and occasionally cringe) at their culinary processes. One child—an aspiring doctor and musical theater performer—glides through the kitchen with a surgeon’s precision, measuring every morsel to ensure the presentation is magazine-worthy. My other child, who is driven by mathematics and engineering but fueled by a passion for photography, follows behind capturing hundreds of photos of a single dish. His cooking style involves experimenting with every spice and oil in the pantry until the flavor finally matches the vision he captured in his lens. Then there’s me... desperately trying to nurture my children’s passion and creativity, while secretly wishing they’d just finish cooking so we can finally eat!

Creativity is a must! These kids can have all the brainpower in the world, but if they can’t communicate their ideas or inventions effectively, that potential goes to waste. Without a creative outlet, even the most brilliant inventions, original score, personal App, or self-published novel remain invisible. Let’s work together to encourage our gifted children to explore their many talents, by expanding our definition of gifted to embrace creative expression.

About Dr. Michelle Sukenik

Dr. Michelle Sukenik, Psy.D., LMHC, serves as Head of School Counseling at American Heritage Schools and is a Palm Beach Area Mensa parent. As both a counselor and a mother of four, she brings a deeply personal and professional perspective to supporting gifted children and their families. She also sits on the board of the Boys & Girls Clubs and is a lifelong supporter of creativity and the arts.